[Coda's sprawled out on a bed--not their bed, but a bed--staring at the ceiling when Bugsy finds them. It's cold in this space, proper Winter cold, and they don't bother to sit up when they hear the bug calling.]
I'll grab some later, maybe. I just ate breakfast, I'm pretty sure.
[Either that or they're struggling with time, nbd.]
[ Bugsy shivered at the chilly atmosphere, gripping the warm bowls a little tighter, the buzzing of the lights overhead hissed a little louder in sympathy. Bugsy sat himself down next to Coda on the bed, resting one of the bowls on the bedside table and tucking into the other one. ]
This a usual level of not okay or should I be worried?
I don't feel safe relaxing anymore. You might go away, or Gil, or Yakko. I can't rely on anyone, here. I can't trust in anyone to be here tomorrow when I wake up. It's not safe to make connections.
[They settle under his hand, though, looking for all the world like Ms. Mojo getting her daily adorations.]
[ That... was a doozy. Bugsy stopped eating entirely, setting the bowl aside, and took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. ]
It's never been safe to care about people. Anyone. Shit- you know how many punks I used to know that would just turn up dead one day? Froze to death, or overdosed. Murdered, 'cus nobody gives a fuck about the street rats, and one more of us gone is just one less fucker panhandling in public.
[ He adjusted himself to pet Coda more carefully, smoothing his fingers lightly over their cheek and glowing freckles. He felt cold, and the buzzing only got louder. ]
But the reason we get told to prepare our goodbyes is so we can care about people. We could lose anyone at any point, we love 'em anyway. That's just Winter. Even if everyone we loved had full and happy lives, they'd die one day, and then so will we. You just... have to enjoy what you have while it's still here. The connections you have, having a full stomach and a warm bed. None of it stays. All of it is worth caring about, even if we don't show that side to the world.
[Grumpy as that comes out, it is a compliment, and a pause so Coda can digest that thought.]
I never told Artemis, you know. Not really all of how...you know. I'm not good at telling people. I wonder if he went back and thought...or if he'd think of me at all.
Been compared to worse people than some happy sunshine fucker who starts soup kitchens unprompted.
[ Really, he'd take that compliment. Bugsy leaned down to kiss Coda gently on the head, letting them sit quietly for a bit. Bugsy shrugged at their eventual question, stating- ]
Flowers while they're here, buddy. 'S all you can do. Make sure they know how you feel while they're around. But... it'd be hard not to think about you, after getting to know you.
[ Bugsy was, of course, the best at taking his own advice. ]
[There's a moment when Coda's instinct to put themself down is visible in their eyes, but it doesn't make it to being voiced. Instead, they lightly grab the front of Bugsy's shirt and give a gentle tug.]
[Coda lifts their head, lips brushing Bugsy's cheek before letting go of the shirt. It's so gentle, so soft. But...very deliberate. And after letting go, Coda's flickering eyes linger on the Beast, drinking in his reaction.]
[ There was a surprised buzzing noise, and the back of Bugsy's shirt jostled from his wings flapping. His hand went to his cheek automatically, and as much as Coda was watching him, he was also watching them, maybe a little puzzled. They were so ethereal, and lovely, and what was he? A human fly, altogether too bodily and flawed and fleshy. But he laughed a little, weakly. Here he was, breaker of hearts, stilled by one kiss to his cheek. His voice wavered as he asked- ]
Something like that. 'S funny how much smarter it sounds coming from your mouth.
[ Bugsy reached down carefully to take Coda's hand and place it on his cheek. His skin was firm and carapace-like, with bristly hairs from his scraggly beard and fly-like darker hairs. And then he closed his eyes, exhaling, putting his trust in them for whatever came next. ]
[ Bugsy's wings buzzed again at the feel of Coda's hand smoothing down his hairs. ]
I'm... involved with Gil already, but he's chill with me being involved with other people too. And I- I have needs, but 'm not expecting you to be the one that meets 'em. Y'know?
I feel like you're talking in all sorts of euphemisms. 'Involved', 'needs'.
...I don't know what I'm doing, Bugsy. Any of this. I'm sorry.
[But it's on the heels of their apology that they lift their face to meet his, their lips grazing his. Maybe, just maybe, they're apologizing for not knowing how to kiss?]
[ He started, panic rising in his chest until Coda leaned up and kissed him, properly this time. He shuddered into the touch as that little burst of adrenaline dropped, leaning back to kiss firmer. No teeth, not yet, but he planted a hand next to their shoulder to support himself. When they parted, he stated- ]
It's okay. You can figure it out. We can figure it out. Just be here to work it out with me, alright?
You may not like labels. But there's things I need to be explicit about. Because it'll make me feel better. Like...the fact that this isn't a rebound, that I've thought about doing this, even before. So you know.
And the fact that you're important to me, even if this doesn't...even if I mess up somehow.
[ No hint of bitterness there. Bugsy sat himself back up properly, just to take a breath for a moment. ]
I doubt you're gonna fuck it up, though. I really like having you around. 'N if you're cool with me seeing Gil to get my physical needs met, then everything should be gravy.
[Coda lounges back out across the bed, propping their head up with a hand.]
The...territorial aspect of relationships is definitely a piece of why I've always been gunshy about them. This ideal that seems to exist that a person becomes a centerpiece of your life and you theirs and you exist as a unit, that's sort of horrifying to me.
[ Bugsy fiddled a loose thread on his vest, uncomfortably quiet for a second. ]
I don't know if I ever told you about Skunk, but that was what the relationship was, for a decent part of it. We just became Bugsyandskunk. Joined at the hip. I like being a free agent, now, like I'm not defined by who I'm fucking. 'm just Bugsy.
[ He... honestly hadn't been thinking of them in that way, and tensed up at the idea of it. But it wasn't like that's not what they were doing. They were probably closer than the inhabitants of the share houses he'd cohabited with before- they cooked and ate together, they hung out, he was somehow involved with both Coda and Gil.
They kinda were a family, huh?
Bugsy smoothed his 'hawk down and tried to stay cool as he answered- ]
Guess not. It's just... what we're doing here, I guess.
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timeasmymeasure
Action, at Trojan, after hours
Date: 2021-05-18 02:19 am (UTC)Codaaaa- added some new shit to the everybody soup, want your opinion on it-
[ A very, very flimsy excuse to make sure they ate tonight. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 02:24 am (UTC)I'll grab some later, maybe. I just ate breakfast, I'm pretty sure.
[Either that or they're struggling with time, nbd.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 02:33 am (UTC)This a usual level of not okay or should I be worried?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 02:39 am (UTC)[But if he's going to sit, they may as well scoot a little, to curl up around his rear and thigh.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 02:46 am (UTC)[ He reached a hand down to stroke at Coda's head, gently. ]
'M not gonna not worry about you, buddy. You don't have to tell me what's up, but I'm gonna worry anyway.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 02:52 am (UTC)[They settle under his hand, though, looking for all the world like Ms. Mojo getting her daily adorations.]
Cw death, substance abuse
Date: 2021-05-18 03:05 am (UTC)It's never been safe to care about people. Anyone. Shit- you know how many punks I used to know that would just turn up dead one day? Froze to death, or overdosed. Murdered, 'cus nobody gives a fuck about the street rats, and one more of us gone is just one less fucker panhandling in public.
[ He adjusted himself to pet Coda more carefully, smoothing his fingers lightly over their cheek and glowing freckles. He felt cold, and the buzzing only got louder. ]
But the reason we get told to prepare our goodbyes is so we can care about people. We could lose anyone at any point, we love 'em anyway. That's just Winter. Even if everyone we loved had full and happy lives, they'd die one day, and then so will we. You just... have to enjoy what you have while it's still here. The connections you have, having a full stomach and a warm bed. None of it stays. All of it is worth caring about, even if we don't show that side to the world.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:10 am (UTC)[Grumpy as that comes out, it is a compliment, and a pause so Coda can digest that thought.]
I never told Artemis, you know. Not really all of how...you know. I'm not good at telling people. I wonder if he went back and thought...or if he'd think of me at all.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:17 am (UTC)[ Really, he'd take that compliment. Bugsy leaned down to kiss Coda gently on the head, letting them sit quietly for a bit. Bugsy shrugged at their eventual question, stating- ]
Flowers while they're here, buddy. 'S all you can do. Make sure they know how you feel while they're around. But... it'd be hard not to think about you, after getting to know you.
[ Bugsy was, of course, the best at taking his own advice. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:31 am (UTC)What's up, buddy?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:41 am (UTC)They were so ethereal, and lovely, and what was he? A human fly, altogether too bodily and flawed and fleshy. But he laughed a little, weakly. Here he was, breaker of hearts, stilled by one kiss to his cheek. His voice wavered as he asked- ]
Really? You're sure?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:47 am (UTC)[Their voice is a whisper, low and staticky and unstable.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:53 am (UTC)[ Bugsy reached down carefully to take Coda's hand and place it on his cheek. His skin was firm and carapace-like, with bristly hairs from his scraggly beard and fly-like darker hairs. And then he closed his eyes, exhaling, putting his trust in them for whatever came next. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 03:56 am (UTC)Is this going to make things weird?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 04:02 am (UTC)[ Bugsy's wings buzzed again at the feel of Coda's hand smoothing down his hairs. ]
I'm... involved with Gil already, but he's chill with me being involved with other people too. And I- I have needs, but 'm not expecting you to be the one that meets 'em. Y'know?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 04:08 am (UTC)...I don't know what I'm doing, Bugsy. Any of this. I'm sorry.
[But it's on the heels of their apology that they lift their face to meet his, their lips grazing his. Maybe, just maybe, they're apologizing for not knowing how to kiss?]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 04:17 am (UTC)[ He started, panic rising in his chest until Coda leaned up and kissed him, properly this time. He shuddered into the touch as that little burst of adrenaline dropped, leaning back to kiss firmer. No teeth, not yet, but he planted a hand next to their shoulder to support himself. When they parted, he stated- ]
It's okay. You can figure it out. We can figure it out. Just be here to work it out with me, alright?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 04:22 am (UTC)And the fact that you're important to me, even if this doesn't...even if I mess up somehow.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 04:31 am (UTC)[ No hint of bitterness there. Bugsy sat himself back up properly, just to take a breath for a moment. ]
I doubt you're gonna fuck it up, though. I really like having you around. 'N if you're cool with me seeing Gil to get my physical needs met, then everything should be gravy.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 04:51 am (UTC)[Coda lounges back out across the bed, propping their head up with a hand.]
The...territorial aspect of relationships is definitely a piece of why I've always been gunshy about them. This ideal that seems to exist that a person becomes a centerpiece of your life and you theirs and you exist as a unit, that's sort of horrifying to me.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 05:59 am (UTC)[ Bugsy fiddled a loose thread on his vest, uncomfortably quiet for a second. ]
I don't know if I ever told you about Skunk, but that was what the relationship was, for a decent part of it. We just became Bugsyandskunk. Joined at the hip. I like being a free agent, now, like I'm not defined by who I'm fucking. 'm just Bugsy.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 06:29 am (UTC)[Better to know and figure out how to compensate for that now.]
no subject
Date: 2021-05-18 06:34 am (UTC)They kinda were a family, huh?
Bugsy smoothed his 'hawk down and tried to stay cool as he answered- ]
Guess not. It's just... what we're doing here, I guess.
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